Saturday, March 27, 2010

Ten Things I Can Do in Three Minutes

A post idea from a writer's workshop blog:
175. List ten things you can do in three minutes.

I don't know if this means doing ten things in one three minute period or ten things that each take three minutes respectively, but I'm going to make the executive decision to go with the latter.

(1) My hair. It takes me three minutes to do my hair in the morning because I have been wearing my hair the same way since I was in high school. Pin back the front, put the rest in a ponytail.  On Sundays, twist and pin.  Don't be fooled; what appears to be pure talent is actually sheer laziness. I got 99 problems and my hair isn't one. Yes, I went there.

(2) Make a sandwich. Bread, Mustard, Cheese, Lettuce & Ham. Thank you, ma'am. Let's not overthink this.

(3) Learn a new word.
-In text: "...the house was nestled in a peaceful sylvan surrounding...", search: sylvan.
-Definition: "of or pertaining to woods or forest regions."
-Repeat to self over and over.
Sylvan = not just a learning center. Vocabulary lesson learned.

(4) Complete a Sudoku puzzle. I am the master.

(5) Become distracted by social networking when I get online to do homework. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if college kids before the age of the Internet got their work done faster. Like when they had to go to the library and use a card catalog and read actual books to do research (so archaic!). This is my 21st century ignorance speaking, but how exactly does one get sidetracked in a library? "Sorry my paper is late, Professor, I lost track of time realphabetizing the cards in the 'Ra-Ri' drawer." Library-time is business-time. And not in a Flight of the Chonchords way. Stop laughing.

(6) Making decisions. Ok, that's overstating things a little. The decisions I make in three minutes or less are pretty banal. We're talking things like, where to eat, what to wear, do I want to buy these shoes, and more importantly, do I NEED to buy these shoes? (In the case of shoes, I generally err on the side of "yes". It's a problem. I'm working on it.) Life decisions? Let's not kid, I waffle about those for weeks and months. The quickest big decision I ever made was in deciding to go to Purdue. I applied, got accepted, visited, and made my decision in the time span of two weeks. You're impressed, I can feel it.

(7) Find and share amusing links. Like so. You're welcome.

(8) Fall asleep at night. Ok not every night but when it happens, it's kind of awesome.

(9) Empty half of the dishwasher. The top half. Give me a break, the silverware is time-consuming. Other three minute household chores: emptying the trash, cleaning a window, wiping the countertop. Lame, I know. It's not like I even have countertops to wipe. 

(10) Make you laugh. Or at least smile. Most everyone has laughed in my presence (physical or Internet-ical) in under three minutes. It's not that I'm a comedic genius.  Most often, it's laughing at me and not with me but that's ok. I'm fully aware that I do stupid stuff on a regular basis. Like trip and fall going up the stairs. Or down. Or get my hair caught in my jacket zipper. Or just over absolutely nothing at all.

Well, it was harder than I thought to think of ten things without making bald-faced lies. Like running a 3-minute mile. Or reciting the times tables.

Things that did not make this list (but should probably be on it)

(1) Phone calls. I didn't think I was much of a talker but I checked my call log and though they are few and far between, they are pretty lengthy.
(2) Showers. ahahahahahaha.
(3) The time between waking up and getting out of bed. see above.
(4) Changing a tire. Since I have never tried, I don't actually know how long it should take. Three minutes is probably a slow day for a pit crew. I could see it taking me twenty minutes.
(5) Reading emails. Well maybe if I didn't get twenty emails a day, it wouldn't take me so long to read them.

The lesson we learned today? Most things take me longer than three minutes. Also, the slow pace of my job has been great for my blog. Not so much for my thesis.  Speaking of...okthanksBYE!!!


  1. ok- so I was laughing by the time I got to the end of #5- couldn't help it!

    I managed to get plenty distracted at the library back about Oh 19, 20 years ago (Is it really that long?! Whoa) don't ask me how- since that definitely was in the days before laptops and high speed... I'm pretty sure I wasn't re-alphabetizing anything anywhere, that's for sure... hmmm

  2. This is a great post idea--I'm doing my own list now :)

    I'm also pretty fast at doing my hair. Three minutes is generous!

  3. I have a most strenuous contention with item #1. It involves 24 out of the 72 hours we spent together in the whitest of whitey states and a disobedient hamster.

  4. hahaha oh Jillian you are never going to let me forget that are you? I was only mad at my hair for 5ish hours. And I was completely justified, all I had was a hair tie that was too stretched out to be useful.


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