Guest Post: Sam

Hey guys, one of this week's writing prompts is to have a sibling or friend share a story (in their own words) about yours truly that you may not have heard before. I asked my brother to do this, since he has a blog of his own. Plus, I trust him to tell you a story that's not too damaging to my reputation. 

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Hello.  I’m sure you got all excited to see that my dear sister has updated her blog, but unfortunately, she copped out this week and gave this one to me.  Hopefully I can live up to the high expectations Ellie has set.  Who is me?  I am her younger brother.  The one that reached legal adulthood.  I’m supposed to tell a story about Ellie that ya’ll might not have heard.  As a younger brother, I can definitely fill that role.  See, as the only male child until 2003, I had a lot to handle with two older sisters.  These are just a few of the ways they, and especially Ellie, occasionally made life difficult.

The first story is about a terrible relief for heat.  See, my duty as son around age 10 was to mow the front lawn.  In the Tennessee heat, this was a tiring task.  When I was done, I would be sweaty, hot, and in need of some cold refreshment.  Everyone’s had lemonade, right?  Sweet, delicious lemonade.  Well, this one time, my sisters made me some.  I was thrilled, because lemonade is great.  So I took a biiig old swig. 

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And promptly spat it out, because my dear loving sisters made it with water, ice, and straight lemon juice.  I then spent the next 10 minutes chasing them around the house, trying to dump it on their heads in payback.

I suppose you could chalk up that last incident to childish immaturity.   Sadly, this would not be the last time I would have to deal with my sisters’ antics.  We loved going to our grandparent’s house in NY, in part because we enjoyed helping our grandfather around the house, hauling wood, mowing, and, on one occasion, painting his barn.  We used a rust-red stain to do so, and it was a messy job.  The rollers would flick stain all over us, regardless of how careful we were.

In any case, I want you to imagine a roller pan.  You know, with the one end stable and squared off and slanting up to the other end, so there’s some space under it when the other end sits level.  The paint sits in the one end, and you roll the roller in it to get it all painty.  Ok, so you have this roller pan in your head, filled with runny red stain.

(ok just pretend it's red and not white)

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Now, we’ll move to describe my situation.  I was helpfully on a ladder, because I have the distinction of being vertically challenged since 1991.  However, on a ladder, I can’t reach everything, so I would have to move the ladder every few minutes.  Remember that roller pan?  Ellie was using one just like it, and she was painting next to me without a ladder.  And where does she choose to leave it?  Right at the foot of my ladder, that’s right!

I went to step down from the ladder to scootch it on over, and set my foot on the slanted end, sending the stain straight up the back of my leg.  I imagine it looked like my femoral artery was severed on that leg.  I was appropriately furious and yelled at her.  Lucky for her, there was no chasing and dousing as in the last story, as the stain was a pain to get out of hair.

And there you have it.  A little story or two you may not have known about Ellie.  Thanks for bearing with me, and next week I’m sure she’ll return to her regularly scheduled funny stuff.

Disclaimer: These stories aside, I am really lucky to have my sisters.  Nobody messes with them but me, m’kay?

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So now you all know, I was a devious and sometimes careless child. I won't deny it but Sam made an easy target. I notice he didn't tell you about the time we made him wear a dress and have a pretend picnic on the floor of the kitchen....huh, weird. 

However, I'm glad to say our relationship has improved since then and I pride myself in thinking these traits have not carried over to adulthood....mostly....

Thanks Sam!

This pretty much sums it up

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If I were a Rich Girl

"Na na na na na na naaa..."
...anyone else have the Gwen Stefani song stuck in their head? You're welcome.

I recently saw the Audrey Hepburn classic, How to Steal A Million, and I've got money on my mind. With all this talk of mega millions and lottery winnings, I started thinking about what I would do if I became one of the nouveau riche. 

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Not that I condone playing the lottery (or stealing, for that matter, even if the film is completely adorable). It's a fool's game. Wealth is best come by honestly and through hard work.
That is if you're going to pursue it at all. Life's too short to spend it chasing paper.  I think the urban poet Notorious B.I.G. said it best in his ode to wealth, "Mo Money, Mo Problems": "It's like the more money we come across, the more problems we see." Amen, Big Poppa.

Regardless, this is the Internet and not real life so let's pretend I've just come into a beaucoup d'argent. And assume I've paid all the requisite taxes and donated an appropriately obscene amount to charity.

First, I would buy an English country house, specifically this one:

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Why? Because it's an English country house, duh. My family would "summer" there, as the wealthy say. It's the perfect setting for taking tea in the garden and long moody walks through the countryside.

Second, I would dress only in filmy cotton dresses and gossamer sequined evening gowns where the label is heavier than the fabric. Think J. Crew for breakfast and Jenny Packham for dinner. My closet would look like this:

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Since jewelry is not my thing, I would feel no guilt about dropping 2 Gs on a handbag that looks like it was made for $30. I'm looking at you, Celine.

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I find that generally in high fashion, the simpler it looks, the more expensive it usually is. Listen, I don't make the rules, folks. But you know, what I save in diamonds I make up for in handcrafted leather goods. 

Third, I would travel everywhere. Constantly, and on a whim. "Hey guys, want to hit up this castle in Colombia for the weekend?" "Sure, let me grab a hat." Or, "There's a festival in Morocco next month, who's with me?"

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My passport would be so full of stamps I would be one of those people who would have to get extra pages, like some sort of cultural ambassador. 

Fourth, I would buy my Aunt Debbie this car. Because I once promised her that if I ever got rich, I would get her a Fiat 500. And I am a woman of my word.

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Fifth, I would open a cupcake bakery somewhere on the eastern shoreline with my cousin Christina. It would be glamourous and delicious with a pretentious one word name like Morsel. Pipe dream fulfilled! 

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I could keep going but you get the idea. This is all in the event of somehow coming into a lot of money, you understand. In the meantime, I'm pretty happy with my life as it is. So I think I'll be just fine without ever stumbling upon a giant pile of riches. 

What would you spend the money on? (Be selfish now, none of this "putting it away for the future" business.) 

Saint Patrick's Day

First of all, this post has nothing to do with Saint Patrick. Full disclosure, I have no idea who he is or what he did for the people of Ireland. The last few centuries have been pretty hard on Ireland though so if they need something to celebrate, then by golly, they can party til shamrocks fall from the sky.  But in this country, it seems to be just another excuse to drink during the day while wearing green. Me? I'm not Irish, not an alcoholic, and not impressed.

So I spent today like any other Saturday in Texas (which brings the total count of Texan Saturdays up to four). Aka doing only the things that please me. And not wearing green.

Which means I went for a morning stroll in the empty field next to the apartment complex.

And then I went to Round Rock with Jillian to shop, eat and generally avoid the SXSW crowds in Austin.

J. Crew was having a sale so I definitely bought my little brother a lobster tie. You know, just in case my parents get invited to any clam bakes at their imaginary country club. Or buy a yacht.

We put on our best pretentious faces to eat appetizers at a restaurant featuring "gourmet backyard cuisine". Does that mean I ate slow smoked brisket tacos instead of regular el-paso-mix beef tacos? Yes, yes it does. And they were delicious. 

I completed my exhausting day with a few minutes poolside, but only until my mint lemonade granita was gone. Quelle détresse.

I'm going to bed early so I can recover from such exertions and get ready for another fulfilling week of unemployment.

So thanks, St. Patty. I had a super relaxing day. Happy Birthday or whatever.

Same time next year?

The last 3 weeks

So yes, it's been rather light on updates around here but I have been living up to my name, traveling here and there and everywhere for the last few weeks. I'm finally in Texas and having a good ole' time. 

To bring you up to speed, I left Massachusetts on February 9th and spent the next four days visiting friends in western and eastern New York before heading to my parents' house in Indiana. 

I spent a week and a half there before hopping back in the car with my dad for the long trip south. After two days of driving we arrived in Houston where we spent a beautiful weekend with my sister. For the last two weeks I have been traveling back and forth between Houston and Temple, hanging out with my sister and getting settled in the apartment in Temple. 

Now that she's off to a beautiful wedding in Hilton Head, I'm back in Temple, just in time to wave goodbye to my pal Adam who leaves this evening for Afghanistan. I don't envy him, he's looking at a few months in the freezing Afghan mountains defending the country. I wish you well, Adam. Be safe and hurry back! Meanwhile, Jilly and I (and a rabbit named Zippy) will keep the home fires burning. Until next week when the temperature shoots through the roof. 

Anyway, here are a few polaroid-ized cell phone shots from the last three weeks:

 A cold but lovely Massachusetts evening sky bids me and my overpacked car adieu! (Don't worry, I didn't drive all the way to Texas with this much stuff.)

The sunset in Connecticut almost made the bumper to bumper traffic worth it. Almost.

New York hidden treasures: Great Aunt Margaret's colored glass window collection and my cousins' candy store. 

Helloooo Texas! In case you forget where you are, all the overpasses kindly remind you.

Overpriced cowboy boots and proudly displayed flags every 50 yards. It's the Texan way, y'all.

Lovely weather mostly. mid 70s and sunny. Grin.

 Unemployment rules the day. Current projects include learning how to knit and making my own greeting cards. I just may open my own Etsy store...

and of COURSE no trip to Texas is complete without a stop in College Station to see my bestie Hatley Nell! (Cowboy hat not included)

Whew. Lots more to tell but it's Sunday evening and there's sunshine and barbeque to be had. 

Hope all is well with my friends scattered far and near. :)