Monday, April 2, 2012

If I were a Rich Girl

"Na na na na na na naaa..."
...anyone else have the Gwen Stefani song stuck in their head? You're welcome.

I recently saw the Audrey Hepburn classic, How to Steal A Million, and I've got money on my mind. With all this talk of mega millions and lottery winnings, I started thinking about what I would do if I became one of the nouveau riche


Not that I condone playing the lottery (or stealing, for that matter, even if the film is completely adorable). It's a fool's game. Wealth is best come by honestly and through hard work.
That is if you're going to pursue it at all. Life's too short to spend it chasing paper.  I think the urban poet Notorious B.I.G. said it best in his ode to wealth, "Mo Money, Mo Problems": "It's like the more money we come across, the more problems we see." Amen, Big Poppa.

Regardless, this is the Internet and not real life so let's pretend I've just come into a beaucoup d'argent. And assume I've paid all the requisite taxes and donated an appropriately obscene amount to charity.

First, I would buy an English country house, specifically this one:



Why? Because it's an English country house, duh. My family would "summer" there, as the wealthy say. It's the perfect setting for taking tea in the garden and long moody walks through the countryside.

Second, I would dress only in filmy cotton dresses and gossamer sequined evening gowns where the label is heavier than the fabric. Think J. Crew for breakfast and Jenny Packham for dinner. My closet would look like this:


Since jewelry is not my thing, I would feel no guilt about dropping 2 Gs on a handbag that looks like it was made for $30. I'm looking at you, Celine.


I find that generally in high fashion, the simpler it looks, the more expensive it usually is. Listen, I don't make the rules, folks. But you know, what I save in diamonds I make up for in handcrafted leather goods. 

Third, I would travel everywhere. Constantly, and on a whim. "Hey guys, want to hit up this castle in Colombia for the weekend?" "Sure, let me grab a hat." Or, "There's a festival in Morocco next month, who's with me?"

(1)Source       (2)Source

My passport would be so full of stamps I would be one of those people who would have to get extra pages, like some sort of cultural ambassador. 

Fourth, I would buy my Aunt Debbie this car. Because I once promised her that if I ever got rich, I would get her a Fiat 500. And I am a woman of my word.


Fifth, I would open a cupcake bakery somewhere on the eastern shoreline with my cousin Christina. It would be glamourous and delicious with a pretentious one word name like Morsel. Pipe dream fulfilled! 


I could keep going but you get the idea. This is all in the event of somehow coming into a lot of money, you understand. In the meantime, I'm pretty happy with my life as it is. So I think I'll be just fine without ever stumbling upon a giant pile of riches. 

What would you spend the money on? (Be selfish now, none of this "putting it away for the future" business.) 

3 comments:

  1. -I'd purchase this here apartment with a gorgeous view over the Seine for my home base (http://www.lux-residence.com/en/sale/apartment/ile-de-france/75/PARIS-5E/C668008A-C157-0528-4387-895A49B2D024/)
    -I would join you on your spur of the moment weekends...safari in South Africa, sounds great! A music weekend in Vienna, why yes thank you!
    -I would devote 2 hours a day to practicing the piano...and 2 hours to reading from my extensive library.
    -And I'd purchase one of these for my sexy chauffeur (aka Aaron)... (http://www.mercedes-amg.com/#/s65-overview)
    -I'd hire a personal trainer/chef to keep me in tiptop shape so I could outfit myself and my children with J.Crew-ish wardrobe
    -And then I'd pop out some more kidlets so we could do family photo shoots like this lady does (http://www.designmom.com/2012/03/prepping-for-a-family-photoshoot/)

    I have no idea how all these links are going to turn out in the comment...

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  2. You are witty and wonderful. Thanks for this cheery post that has now jumpstarted my Friday morning. I am off to daydream of gallivanting around the world and owning a private island (and a personal barista who makes me delicious espresso enhanced beverages).

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  3. I had a few thoughts when I read this yesterday... but can't remember them now.
    I'm with you on the clothes! Oh Yum!

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