New Series: Travel Tuesday

For starters, I recommend using a map when planning a trip. It's more helpful than a blank piece of paper. But this is a stock photo and Random Hands don't know any better.

Friends, I'm not going to turn this blog into an advertorial about why you should work with a travel advisor, but since I am one (officially card-carrying, even!), I figured I could use this space once a week to talk about all things travel-related.  Due to the nature of my job, I am occasionally asked questions about various aspects of travel, and I think this might be a good place to answer those that come up most frequently. I'd also like to talk about destinations that inspire me, share tips and tricks I've learned from the travel industry, and highlight unique travel methods/styles.

Today is obviously not Tuesday, but I wanted to give you a heads up that this is a thing I'd like to start. I can't promise it will be every week (hello, track record), but I'm hoping to give this blog a little more structure.

Next Tuesday I'll dive into one of the most important (and complicated) aspects of travel: understanding airfare.

Until then, please let me know if there is something in particular you'd like to discuss. 

In the event that colleagues at my current agency stumble upon my blog, I am stating for the record that all opinions and comments are my own and do not necessarily represent the views/policies of the agency I work for. Also, please seek a licensed doctor for medical advice.

On Shopping for Swimsuits

Image via
Remember the good old days of bathing costumes?

The last time I went swimsuit shopping, I was at a mall in Texas with my sister.

We stopped at a place called Everything But Water, which at first glance appeared to be full of fabric samples that you could pick from to have a suit made. Upon closer inspection, the bits of fabric turned out to actually be fully formed suits.  We left because neither of us had thought to bring a magnifying glass along.

Next we headed to an activewear store called Athleta, in the hopes that they would have sporty but attractive options.  We were in luck!  However, they must use the metric system to number their sizes, because what I would fit in in any other store was so comically tight, I had to take a brief nap in the dressing room after prying it off.  Also, a store associate barged into my booth while I was changing so obviously I can never return.  Not because I'm embarrassed, but because the kaleidoscope of body parts she witnessed will probably never leave her brain, and she needs time to make peace with that.

That was nearly a year ago, and the search is still on.  I'm going on a cruise in a couple of weeks and I'd like to go swimming in the ocean at least once without being that person in drippy shorts and a t-shirt.

ugh.

UGH.

Is there a woman alive that enjoys the process? I feel like even the most toned and tanned among us still has body parts that she wishes she could hide, or at least de-emphasize.  Even if it's just like, her left knee.

I'm not toned or tanned.  I'm white and fleshy, and in a bathing suit,vaguely reminiscent of bread dough left to rise too long in a warm place.
So naturally, I don't spend much time subjecting people to that image.
Weirdly though, I also don't spend a lot of time begin self-conscious.  My body is what it is, and putting on a bathing suit doesn't reveal anything people don't already know.

Surprise! I have a tail.
Just kidding.

But I digress.  My main issue is with what's available in the swimsuit market --for everyone.  There are suits with SO many cute prints and patterns but they're on tiny two piece bikinis, or my personal favorite, the "monokini", which is basically a bikini that they forgot to finish cutting out completely.

There are suits that shape and slenderize and cover completely, but where are the cute prints and patterns for those? Why are we still using garish, poorly placed floral designs in dated colors?  As though enormous pink hibiscuses on  black fabric are going to distract the observer from the flesh it's struggling to contain.

WHERE IS THE MIDDLE GROUND???

It's not like swimwear companies aren't trying -- there are all kinds of "plus size" lines out there attempting to bridge the gap.  The problem is, they're just taking the tiny suits with their plunging necklines and weird cutouts and making them bigger.  Which, fine, but personally my wobbly bits aren't here for your sad game of hide and seek.

Or...get this...adding zippers to make the conservative one pieces look more interesting. ZIPPERS.  Can you imagine taking a baby to the pool while wearing a swimsuit with a zipper down the front? It'd be 30 seconds before the baby got grabby and someone called the cops to report public indecency.

Basically all I'm asking for in a swimsuit is for it to cover the bits that have never seen the sun without being a) hideous or b) ankle/wrist length burkini in which i tragically die from heat exhaustion.

That's it, you guys.  That's all I need.
And I don't want to have to try on 300 more to find it.
Are you out there, magical swimsuit? Let me know. 

Holiday Letter 2017

Happy Christmas and Merry New Year!!!

Iceland, March 2017

What a 2017, friends. It has been a very mixed bag of jellybeans, some tasting of blueberry and some of sour milk.

The world we live in feels a little more every year like a smoldering compost heap about to burn down the barn while everyone’s in the front yard pruning the roses. I am overwhelmed when I think of all that is bad and broken on the Earth. It feels socially irresponsible to consciously stop paying attention to the daily details but I have had to for my own peace of mind.

The key lesson for me this year was to focus on being a force for good in my immediate surroundings FIRST.  Really that’s the best we can hope to do, isn’t it? And if enough of us do it, the positive energy we radiate outwards will overlap and reach into the barren places.

Listen, I don’t know what that means either, the tag on the teabag this morning said Perfect Energy, so I’m feeling in touch with the universe.

Anyway, we’re here to talk about ME. Here is the story of my 2017:

It’s been a year full of exciting TRAVEL. In March I explored the fairytale/Viking nation of Iceland with my brother Sam and two dear friends.  In August, I rented a cabin in the woods of Brown County, Indiana with friends, and we camped like queens. In September, I took a work trip to the gorgeous province of British Columbia. In a few weeks, my whole family will be celebrating Christmas in Boston.

It’s been a year exploding with BABIES. My sis continues to win the family house cup by announcing she’s expecting a second child. She’s not alone, I did a study^* and there’s been a 63% increase in babies among friends, family members, and random people I follow on Instagram.  2017 was a banner year for propagating the human race, my friends.^**

Let’s keep the trend going-- the world needs more purity and innocence.

Don’t look at me though, I killed two houseplants and a gifted rosemary bush is slowly wilting from inattention.

It’s been a year of MOSTLY POSITIVE CHANGE.  I switched travel agencies, making for the first time a job change within the same industry. (What? Building a career?) It’s been just over a month and I’m wondering why I waited so long to make the leap. I am so much happier! I have health insurance! No one wastes an afternoon arguing with the entire office trying to figure out who broke the toilet seat in the employee bathroom!^***

I briefly went paleo. How brief? 4 days.  One night I demolished half a head of roasted cauliflower and had such a terrible stomach ache afterwards, I ate a grilled cheese the next day out of spite. I haven’t looked back.

(I said mostly positive change, remember.)

I think I’ve finally taught Grampie how to stop burning microwave popcorn, so you’re all invited back to the house on Sunday nights again.

I went zip lining not once, but TWICE, which is a huge deal because I am terrified of heights/my feet leaving Earth. YOU GUYS, the second time was between two mountain peaks.  I mean, I cried at the end, but I still did it. I CAN DO ANYTHING!! The trick is to start screaming before you leap.

British Columbia, September 2017

What will 2018 hold? For the world, I’m not even tempted to guess. I think it won’t matter, as long as I greet each day as an opportunity, rather than an obligation.

Sorry, I had another cup of Peace Tea.

I’m so so thankful for my family, my friends, clean water, air, and sunshine. I’m thankful I can digest gluten. I’m thankful for replacement hormones that appear to be stopping my distressing hair loss.

I’m thankful for all of the things I have that I do not deserve.

I’m thankful for plants and dogs and babies.

I’m thankful for deep, abiding fellowship.

I’m thankful for mercy and grace.

I hope I can keep all of these things in 2018. I hope that if I can’t, I have courage in the face of adversity, and patience and faith in the face of the unknown. And you too, my friends.

I love you all so very much.

Please enjoy the enclosed page of photos from my travels. I have no babies or dogs for you to hang on your fridge, but you will note the shot of me standing pompously in front of a float plane, overcompensating for all the other areas in which I lack.

Have a sparkling day,^****

Ellie

  

*No I didn’t.

**Listen, I just got up from my desk to stretch, accidentally elbowed a lady and a baby fell out. Just now, I mean it. His name is Isaiah Succotash and his parents are over the moon.

***It was Patricia (fake name) and everyone knows it. 

****The best email I got in 2017 was from a Parisian hotel concierge who finished a very business-like exchange with this delightful phrase. I’ve included it and this footnote to drive home the fact that I am so cool, hahaha ok I’ll stop.

Welcome

Illustration by Ina Hattenhauer

Hello, and welcome to the new and improved Hither & Yon

*hands you an ice cold bottle of Smartwater™*

As you came in, I’m sure you noticed the new title graphic. Isn’t it divine? The ampersand is in the latest shade of yellow from France.

To our right, you’ll see an updated sidebar, with a photo of the author that was taken sometime in the last three years. Fabulous!

If you click on her face, it will take you to her ‘About Me’ page, but that hasn’t been updated in the last three years, so don’t. I mean you can, but I have it on good authority that she is no longer a fan of vintage suitcases OR Polaroids, so it’s wildly inaccurate.

The navigation is mostly the same, with the addition of a slideshow of her Instagram photos, so you can see she’s still alive when it’s been weeks between posts.

Hopefully it won’t be weeks between posts anymore, but let’s be real, you can put a fresh coat of paint on a leopard, but it’s still a leopard. Now it’s just super angry because it’s covered in paint. Don’t do that to animals, you guys. I can’t believe I even have to mention it.

So what do you think?

I love it, I all-caps LOVE. IT.

All the props to Kelly of Kiki & Co. Creative. She knows what she’s about. Check out more of her work here.

Anyway, that’s all really.

I’m sorry for speaking in the third person earlier; that was weird. Also, I don’t have any Smartwater™ for you. Go get a drink from the faucet, don’t be wasteful.

I’ll be back later with a post on my trip to Iceland (finally).

Ok bye! ;)

Happy Weekend

Source

Because of the Independence Day holiday, the work week was short, but somehow I arrived at Friday evening just as worn out.  I'm particularly thankful for friends who meet me for lunch in the middle of a crazy day and let me hold their adorable baby. I'm looking at you, Janet and Charlie.  Other things that brightened my week include long July evenings, 2 Corinthians 3, and unsweetened iced tea.

Also, here is some stuff I clicked on this week and liked:

+ I scream, you scream, we all scream, "I'M CHARLENE!"

+ There is a store in New York that only sells pencils and pencil-related things, and between that and bagels, I think the universe is telling me to move to NYC.

+ I might be turning into one of those people who uses natural deodorant but I'm not willing to try them all and subject people to that process, so thank goodness for this girl who already did.

+ In defense of small towns as a long weekend vacation destination

+ As much as I'd love to be one of those people who subscribes to minimalism, this design trend way more accurately encapsulates my personality.

+ A song for your weekend:  "To Build a Home" - The Cinematic Orchestra


Just like Charlene, if you need me this weekend, I'll most likely be looking at pictures of baby goats. Or in this case, reading about ducks up to no good. Oh animals, you hilarious things.

Take care of yourselves, friends.
xx