Happy New Whatever

A little inspiration for you on this Wednesday that feels like a Monday that we wish was a Friday:

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.”

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Did you have a good New Year's holiday? I would have posted sooner but as hard as I tried to fight it, I fell prey to the evil stomach virus my family brought home from Minnesota. Man, say what you want about other ailments but that is the worst. THE WORST. My family (all better, of course) went to a little get together but I stayed behind and nursed a ginger ale under a pile of blankets. I said cheers to the moon at about 10:30 and turned out the light. It sounds depressing and it was a little but I’m not going to complain because I don’t believe how you ring in the new year is necessarily an indicator of what that year will be like for you. Especially because the best New Year’s Eve I've ever had preceded one of the most difficult years of my life.

Today I'm like 80% back to normal but I can't seem to shake the deep-seated fatigue. I’m in a bit of a fog and even my limbs feel heavier than normal. Blah. 

Also, I haven't had chocolate in almost a week and I miss it.

I am such a girl. Sheesh.

Last year I promised myself that 2012 would be the Year of the Moment. As in, learn to be ok with what I'm doing day to day and stop worrying about the future so much. 

On the surface I succeeded. I flew by the seat of my pants for the first half of the year. I left my bakery job in Massachusetts in February and was living it up in Texas by March.  However glorious it was, my Ikea and Whole Foods habit was not sustainable without employment so by May I was in Indiana, back at my parents' place looking for a job.  I grabbed the first one that came along and bam, seven months later, here we are at the start of a new year.

Here’s where it starts to dissolve. After I started my job, I fell into a holding pattern. Every day, the exact same: work, eat, sleep, repeat.  At first my response was, yes, this is exactly what I need, a concrete routine. But after awhile the daily grind became well, a grind. My job holds little day-to-day variation and the evenings and weekends were starting to look the same. And so then the questioning began again: what am I doing? Where am I going? Am I fulfilled? But I kept telling myself,  “This worked for me yesterday, so it will work for me today. Be content in the now.” So I didn’t go anywhere or do anything new.

That may sound strange if you have been following my blog this whole time. What about the projects and the conventions and the weddings? I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I am so thankful for all the beautiful experiences I’ve been a part of in the past year, particularly my sister’s wedding. But the everyday in between was just reliving the same moments, over and over; there hasn’t been enough balance. And maybe you've noticed the change in my blog. It has become a lot less personal over the last couple of months, more links and pretty photographs than stories and writing, which is why I started this blog in the first place.

So I declare 2013 the Year of Balance. I want to find the right balance between present and future, between my work life and my social life, between my mental, physical, and spiritual health. This year I want to learn how to live in the moment enough that I’m not in my own head too much but also make the big scary choices and changes, the ones good for my future.

As grandiose and broad-brush as that sounds, I’m going to take a page from Amy's (of Rainy Saturday) book by tackling small but specific things each month so I can work on it a little at a time.

This month I’m going focus on something that has needed work for a long time: reading my Bible. I need to learn how to read it more in depth. I’m starting by reading a chapter from Proverbs in addition to my regular study, something a dear lady in Texas once recommended. There are exactly 31 chapters in Proverbs so it works out perfectly. The key is to start over in February and then again in March and so on until the end of the year.  I don’t know if I’ll make through the whole year but I’d sure like to try to get to know the book of Proverbs as well as I can. 

So that’s where I stand. What about you, do you make resolutions? Does putting up a new calendar inspire you to be a better version of yourself?

Before I go, thanks for continuing to read and support my weird corner of the Internet in 2012.  I blog to keep myself inspired but it makes me happy to know that other people find enjoyment in it too.

I wish you well in 2013!  

xx

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Images: (1) / (2) / (3)