Having Married Friends/Friends with Kids

This is yet another Mama Kat writing prompt but I'm powering through 'til I find my rhythm again.

I'm just going to go ahead and get it out of the way:

I'm single.
Not just "between relationships", but like, perpetually alone. I'm not old though, so I'm totally fine with it. But as I get older, more and more of my friends are getting into serious relationships, getting married, and popping out babies like they just announced last call for reproducing. Which I should mention to those of you in this category, if we can just take a quick sidebar: there's lots of theories about 2012, but no actual deadline for perpetuating humanity. 

And we're back. Anyway, it's a strange feeling to have friends who are married and having kids and something I'm still getting used to. Here are a few things we don't have in common:

(1) "I have to go home and dust my plants" is not as effective an excuse as "I have to go home and make dinner for my husband" when I want to get out of doing something at night.

(2) I can't contribute to conversations about morning sickness or breast feeding. Nor do I want to. 

(3) Couples Only parties/weekends. Which is a stupid idea anyway. How does excluding your single friends make the party better? Do you sit around eating leftover casserole and discuss joint checking accounts and his and her sinks? If so, please continue to pointedly exclude me in the future.

(4) Having absolutely no obligations to anyone or anything made it incredibly easy to press pause on my life and move to Switzerland. Should I decide to sojourn to Africa after this adventure is over, the only conversation I'll be having is with my financial advisor. 

(5) I, too, end the day exhausted with bits of food and occasionally snot stuck to my clothes from chasing children around. The difference is no one calls me Mommy and I get paid to do it.

(6) I can sleep spread-eagle and hog all the pillows and anyone who says otherwise has some explaining to do. Creep.

Not that I think I come out better in the end. There are definitely perks to this party of one but I know there's an immense joy in having a husband and kids that's unattainable by those without. Also some really hilarious couple's costumes I'm missing out on. 

Sidebar #2: will someone please be the Calvin to my Hobbes next year? Without one, I'm just awkwardly dressed in an adult-sized tiger suit.

And though there are times that I feel somewhat separated from my married friends, I don't love them any less. I've got some really great examples of married life around me. And some of you make some pretty adorable babies.  It just means sometimes I'll be eating dinner standing in the kitchen while you're enjoying each other's company at the table.  Conversely, sometimes I'll be in Toulouse for the weekend while you're shopping for a new washer and dryer. You win some, you lose some. 

And that's life. We grow and change but we don't have to allow it to separate us from one another. In the meantime, keep a spot for open for me on your couch and I'll give you advice on the best restaurants where they don't stare at you for eating alone.
Which, in case you are wondering, I have only found one: the Friendly's in Gettysburg, PA.

10 Reasons I'm Glad it's Fall

In lieu of a regular TiLTw post, I'm using one of Mama Kat's writing prompts to shake it up.

Why I Love Fall

(1) The drama. Fall is like that person you know who stops in to say hi and you never know what to expect.  It can be gorgeous and warm and colorful or stormy and dark and it changes at the drop of a hat.  Of course there are days when I wish it would stop playing Russian roulette with the temperature and my immune system. But it's exciting. Until it snows in early November. That's when I'm over it.

(2) Fall fruit. Apples, figs, grapes, and cranberries are all in season. Am I doing a jig in an orchard? Maybe.

(3) Sweaters. Anyone who knows me knows I have a problem and it's called grandpa cardigans. Yes, make all the Mr. Rogers jokes you want but I love my button downs.  I wear them in every season (yes, even summer) but in the fall I can expand my sweater wearing horizons with cowl necks, cable knits, dusters and wool. Sweaters every day and you can't make fun of me.

Grandma called and she said I could keep her cardigan. It's from Zara though so it's legit.

(4) Scarves. Same reason as above. Fall : the season when you wear scarves not to be a hipster but because your neck is actually cold.

(5) Pumpkins. As you may have gathered from my pumpkin quiche recipe post, I am a lover of all things  pumpkin. You may love pumpkin pies and pumpkin spice lattes but it takes a true enthusiast to enjoy it with bacon in a quiche.  I love eating the seeds too. Wash them, salt them, let them dry, and then roast in the oven. Also, who doesn't enjoy a good pumpkin carving?

This year's attempt. Much less snarky than last year's attempt, which was literally a pumpkin with the word "pumpkin" carved into it. 

(6) A visit from my North Carolinian relatives. A fairly new tradition that involves some of my awesome relatives, who drive with their babies all the way out to Indiana for 3 or 4 days.  Fun times include bowling, trips to the zoo, children in adorable costumes, and lots and lots of laughter. In fact, this coming weekend they will be making the trip again but sadly, I will not be there. 

Sorry, adorable baby ladybug not for sale.

(7) Halloween. Free candy. And dressing up in an awesome costume that's not degrading to my gender and everything we've accomplished in the last 100 years. Due to lack of resources, this year I will be answering the door looking completely normal except for perhaps a paper moustache. 

(8) Building fires. I love a good campfire, but nothing feels quite so nice as a fire in the stove on an especially cold day. Coming from the land of gas fireplaces I can't tell you how nice and cozy it is to live in a house with a wood-burning fireplace. Just beautiful. Bonfires? Also nice.

(9) Elections. It's that time of year! Now politics generally seem to bring out the worst in everyone and a lot of people don't like discussing it but I find the process fascinating.  I love living in a democracy because the system is constantly being re-evaluated by elections. There's the big ones, (presidency, congressional) but every year there are also the local elections. While people pay less attention to these, they actually have a more direct effect on your day to day life. So I don't care if you are Republican, Democratic, Libertarian, or Ambivalent. You can't have an effect (or justify complaining) unless you vote.  Vote for yourself and for those people whose absentee ballot never came in the mail (cough). And now I'm stepping off my soap box. 

(10) Thanksgiving. Um more food, duh. Oh and also the being thankful part. It's going to be my first Thanksgiving in a country that doesn't celebrate it but you best believe I will make pie and eat a ridiculous amount of food all by myself. Food coma, party of one.

Well there you go. A whole post about fall that doesn't mention football. Whoops...

What do you love about fall? 

Checking In

Bon soir.

Sorry to be so sporadic with posting but today's excuse brought to you by the weather.

 The crystal blue horizon and warm west wind have packed their bags and headed elsewhere. Now it seems the sky is competing with the landscape to see who can be more dramatic. Black clouds billow and clutter the space overhead, obscuring the mountains and draping the ground in shadows. A bitter cold wind rips the pretty leaves off the trees and throws them on the ground, swirling to the mountains and then back again to rudely push against me. These two unwelcome characters make me want to construct a tent out of the bed covers and never leave. In these times, I write random thoughts on note cards and toss them in frustration on the floor on top of yesterday's sweater. Go away Internet, I don't want to share my life with you.

Alas, what is one psych visit away from being diagnosed as Seasonal Affective Disorder puts me in a cold weather funk. But I'm trying to shake it off.

I have stories for you. And things I love. But it is late and I am tired and cranky, so I leave you with this beautifully constructed stop-motion animated story.



These aren't tears. Stop looking at me like that, it's allergy season.

Day 48 - Looking for Color

Today I went for a walk on a day that was cold, windy, and overcast. The kind of day that enhances dead leaves and empty trees and a general feeling of melancholy. A day that looks like this:

A day like today needs color and that's exactly what I set out to find. So here it is:

A lone sunflower in a field, despite it being way past sunflower season

The red Swiss flag, flapping cheerily in the breeze

And all the wildflowers I could find, in a bunch.

Day made. :)

If everything looks grey, you just haven't looked hard enough. Go find the color.

Have a fantastic fall day! 

Day 47 - Welcome to America, Land of Red Plastic Cups

Whether or not I like it, I am a representative of the United States. The way I look, talk, and act is a product of American culture to a certain extent. Now, I don't think I necessarily do such a bad job at this. I'm certainly trying my hardest not to feed into the European stereotype of a typical American. Thus far I have avoided the following stereotypical behaviors:

• Speaking loudly in English regardless if people understand me or not
• Wearing a fanny pack
• Eating at McDonald's
• Drinking myself silly in a bar
• Starting all my sentences with "Well, back in the States we do it like this"
• Calling things "quaint" or exclaiming how small everything is
• Having a "my way or the highway" attitude
• Being morbidly obese

It's not that I'm ashamed to be American. I love my country, but I'm also mindful of our bad reputation overseas. Thus, I do not feel the need to march around waving the flag while singing the Star Spangled Banner.  But I also can't hide it either.  Let's be honest: my entire wardrobe is from Gap, Ann Taylor Loft, and Old Navy.  Even if I were head to toe in H&M and Zara, the minute I open my mouth everyone knows that is not real French coming out.

Fortunately the Swiss are kind, accommodating people. The moments where I've felt silently condemned for my citizenship have been limited to one interaction with a really grouchy waitress.  But I'm pretty sure she was just having a bad day.

In general I don't get asked very many questions about what it's like back home because, let's be real, everyone gets an idea from turning on a TV.  I have only met one person who was eager to talk to me when he found out I was from the U.S. Here's how it went.

My French class is a mixture of Swiss Germans, Portugese, Scots, and then there's me. One of the Swiss Germans is a teenage guy who, like every teenage guy, spends the whole class cracking up at what he thinks are double entendres that the instructor is saying.  (Clearly needs to pay more attention to what she's actually saying...) Well on the first day we were introducing ourselves and his eyes lit up when he heard me say I was from the U.S. The instructor stepped out of class for a minute and he comes right over.

Him: "You are American?"

Me: "....yes."

Him: "I have a question I have always want to ask an American!"

Me: "ok, what is it?"

Here I get excited thinking, what sort of political/economical/social conundrum does he want to discuss? It's my first international meeting of the minds! Alert the U.N.!

Him: "When you have the house parties, do you really have your drinks in red plastic cups?"

Me: "...what?"

Him: "You know, the cups, for the game of drinking and with the small balls? I see this in the movies and on TV!"

Me: "Are you asking me about red plastic cups? and BEER PONG?"

Him: " Yes, yes!"

Me: ".......yes. that's uh...that's a real thing."

Glad to know the youth of Switzerland are concerned with top international issues. Thanks, MTV Europe. What a disappointment. I doubt there is anyone is less qualified to discuss the college party scene than me. If this is what they're looking for in an American well I should just pack my bags now.  

Otherwise, if you have any other questions, I'll be over here in my bright blue wind-breaker pretending to like sausage.

God Bless America.